For decades, social scientists and policymakers alike have wrestled with a truth that is both obvious and, in the current climate, oddly controversial: the strength of a nation’s families underpins its long-term economic and social success. Yet, in South Africa and across the Western world, the family is in retreat. The consequences are visible in rising child poverty, stagnant social mobility, and the stubborn persistence of intergenerational disadvantage. South Africa is now living, in real time, the full costs of this social and policy neglect.

The evidence for the centrality of marriage and stable families is overwhelming. A report by Civitas, “Marriage and the Stable Society,” collates reams of data showing that children raised in two-parent households consistently fare better across every major life domain: educational attainment, mental and physical health, avoidance of criminality, and upward economic mobility [Civitas is the Institute for the Study of Civil Society, a UK think tank that conducts research and advocates for independent, practical contributions to public debate and civil society]. These outcomes are not an accident, nor are they the product of mere nostalgia for a vanished past. They reflect real, measurable advantages conferred by stable, resource-rich home environments and the deep social capital that marriage uniquely supplies.

International comparisons are stark. According to Civitas, in the United Kingdom only about half of children reach age 16 still living with both natural parents, and the number falls to less than a third for those from the poorest households. In the United States, the non-marital birth rate hovers at 40%, and over 25% of children live in homes without their biological father. These are not just statistics: they are the harbingers of a future in which social solidarity is hollowed out, and the promise of shared prosperity becomes ever more remote.

South Africa’s own trajectory is, in some respects, even more alarming. Historical legacies of migrant labour and the destructive policies of both colonial and apartheid regimes left the African family structure battered and fragmented by the time of democracy in 1994. Yet, in the decades since, little has been done to rebuild the social capital lost. Just 33% of South African children live with both parents, while a shocking 43% live only with their mother, and 21% with neither parent present at all. No other comparable country has such a high proportion of children growing up effectively orphaned by social design.

The implications for economic progress and social stability are serious. Children raised outside two-parent homes in South Africa are more likely to be poor, less likely to finish school, and more likely to be unemployed or involved in crime as adults. The intergenerational persistence of poverty is no mystery when viewed through the lens of broken family structures. A World Bank report on South Africa argued that “family structure is among the strongest predictors of educational and labour market outcomes,” outranking even race and geography in some contexts.

If this were just a matter of private misfortune, it would be bad enough. But family instability has enormous public costs. The state is forced to step in with ever-growing welfare spending, foster care systems, school feeding schemes, and an expanding criminal justice apparatus. South Africa spends more than 3% of its GDP on social grants, much of it attempting to patch holes that stronger families would fill as a matter of course. Even so, the system is failing to stem the tide. In the absence of strong, intact families, the state cannot hope to do more than triage social pathologies after the fact.

This decline in the family is not a matter of fate or cultural drift; it is the product of deliberate policy choices. For years, policymakers have focused on a narrow menu of economic reforms, sometimes well-intentioned and often ideologically driven, while ignoring the underlying social infrastructure that makes a market economy and open society possible. Worse, certain ideological fashions have cast suspicion on the very idea of the “traditional” family, treating it as an anachronism at best or a tool of oppression at worst.

Yet, the evidence is clear: when the family collapses, state dependence rises, and economic dynamism fades. This is not to idealise the past or claim that all marriages are happy or beneficial. But the statistical relationship between stable, married, two-parent families and positive social outcomes is robust across every demographic group, every continent, and every credible data set. Countries that have turned their backs on family policy have seen the results in broken communities, social division, and a creeping sense of national malaise.

By contrast, those nations that have actively supported marriage and family formation reap long-term dividends. In Scandinavia, where family breakdown has also been a problem, countries like Sweden and Norway have managed, through targeted tax and welfare policy, to limit the worst social fallout. In East Asia, the relative strength of family networks continues to buffer against the extremes of poverty and social disintegration, even amid rapid urbanisation and technological change.

What then must South Africa do? First, the country must stop pretending that social policy is somehow separate from economic and educational outcomes. The evidence from the Social Research Foundation’s polling shows that South Africans, across all racial and income groups, value stable families and want to see more support for marriage and responsible fatherhood. Policy needs to reflect these popular priorities, rather than chasing after ever more ambitious and expensive state interventions that treat the symptoms, not the cause.

Second, social grants and welfare policies should be retooled to support, not undermine, family formation. Current policy sometimes creates perverse incentives: single-parent households receive more targeted policy attention than low-earning married couples, and fathers are too often neglected as either irrelevant or adversarial by policymakers. This must change. Tax policy, cash grants, and early childhood interventions should reward stability, encourage parental investment, and make it easier, not harder, for young people to form lasting bonds.

Third, the education system must become an ally, not a substitute, for families. International research is clear: schools cannot compensate for what is lost when families break down. But they can reinforce the values of responsibility, discipline, and mutual care that strong families transmit. That means empowering schools to work with parents, not against them, and giving communities a greater say in educational priorities, something South African polling also strongly supports.

Fourth, the legal and cultural climate must shift to once again affirm the social value of marriage and committed fatherhood. This is not a call for moralism, but for realism: the evidence is again overwhelming that the best anti-poverty and anti-crime strategy is the encouragement of stable, two-parent homes. Public campaigns and civic leaders must champion, not denigrate, this reality.

Critics will say that such an approach is unrealistic or reactionary, but the data are on the side of reform. As South Africa stands on the brink of a demographic and economic turning point, with youth unemployment very high, crime rates high, and public trust in institutions low, the country cannot afford to ignore the basics. It is very difficult to lift people out of poverty, secure social peace, or build a culture of mutual respect on a foundation of broken homes and atomised individuals.

There are, of course, many necessary economic reforms: growth-friendly policies, better infrastructure, market deregulation, and an end to the most destructive racial engineering. But these, on their own, will not suffice if the core social unit is left to wither. Countries are built from the inside out. The state, the market, and civil society are all downstream from the home. Ignore that, and you get the South African present: a nation of immense potential, unable to realise that potential.

South Africans of all backgrounds understand this, even if their elites do not. The task now is to bridge the gap between popular wisdom and policy reality. In the end, rebuilding the family is the work of a generation, not a parliamentary term. But every journey starts with a single step, and every reformer should know where the journey must begin.