In South Africa’s public debate, family structure is the crisis no one wants to name. We speak endlessly about inequality and unemployment but rarely about the conditions in which children grow up.

Economist Melissa Kearney, in The Two-Parent Privilege, shows that children raised by two married parents are far more likely to finish school, earn higher incomes, and avoid poverty. Yet policymakers and academics often avoid the topic, fearing accusations of judgment or bias. Kearney calls this silence a “cultural taboo,” a form of compassion that blinds us to evidence.

South Africa mirrors this pattern. Stats SA’s 2024 General Household Survey shows only 31% of children live with both parents, while 46% live with their mothers alone. In rural areas, just 19% live with both. These are not marginal numbers; they shape our national future.

Despite this, policy focuses almost entirely on money. We recognise economic poverty but ignore relational poverty. Billions go to social grants, yet almost nothing is spent on supporting stable families, responsible fatherhood, or community-based care. The result is a country where many homes are female-led by necessity and children grow up without steady examples of partnership.

Kearney’s message is simple: two committed adults raising children together is one of the strongest anti-poverty forces we know. Ignoring that truth does not make us fairer; it leaves more children to face life alone.