An increasing number of South African parents are being asked for loans by their adult children as unemployment and the cost of living continue to rise. While family support has long been a safety net, turning this help into a formal loan carries substantial risks.

Problems arise when loans between parents and children are treated as open-ended or informal gestures of kindness. Without clear expectations, repayment is unlikely and frustration can build. A lack of a written agreement often turns a temporary lifeline into a permanent handout, eroding trust and financial stability for both sides.

Financial advisers note that parents are rarely fully repaid. This reality can threaten retirement plans for the lender and hinder personal growth for the borrower. Experts recommend considering a modest, one-time gift if possible, avoiding dependency and the stress of unpaid debts. When a loan is necessary, best practice is to formalise it in writing with clear repayment terms and consequences for default.

Careless handling of family loans can reinforce negative patterns and leave both generations worse off. Honest conversations, well-defined boundaries, and mutual respect are crucial to maintaining healthy family relationships. As financial pressures mount, parents must consider the true costs of generosity in both emotional and practical terms.

Viewed through the lens of family resilience, effective support means blending empathy with firm financial boundaries. From a practical standpoint, the goal should be to help adult children plan for independence rather than relying on family as an ongoing bank.