A new wave of Western commentary promoting polyamory is facing pushback from social scientists who warn that the trend undermines the foundations of stable family life. In South Africa, where family breakdown already fuels social distress, the evidence points clearly toward monogamy as the safer and more sustainable model.

Writing for the Institute for Family Studies, University of Virginia sociologist Brad Wilcox argues that fidelity, not experimentation, best supports both adult satisfaction and child wellbeing. Wilcox has spent decades studying the link between family structure and social outcomes. His latest intervention is unambiguous. “It should be stated plainly that polygamy and polyamory are a direct threat to kids, both emotionally and physically.”

The growing movement known as “ethical non-monogamy” describes relationships in which partners agree to have multiple sexual or romantic partners. Proponents frame it as progressive and liberating, but researchers such as Wilcox argue that it weakens the emotional security children depend on. As he writes: “No one can truly feel safe inside a marriage whose vows have an asterisk.” He concludes that: “monogamy ought to remain our social ideal.”

Child development experts reach similar conclusions. The first three years of life are critical for secure attachment, and that bond depends on consistent, reliable caregiving inside a stable home. When parental relationships are unstable or open to multiple partners, children face higher risks of anxiety, confusion, and emotional disruption, effects that ripple into schools, communities, and the wider economy.

Strengthening monogamous family life is not moral nostalgia; it is a social investment. As Wilcox writes, of all the available arrangements, monogamy gives the: “very best chance for freedom, advancement and human happiness” and remains the most protective environment for children.