Disagreeing about politics can feel deeply personal. When partners clash over values, candidates, or causes, the arguments often run deeper than party lines.

According to Robert Taibbi, a licensed family therapist based in Virginia in the United States, and author of Fixing Families: Tools for Walking the Tough Road of Change, political fights usually reveal older emotional wounds rather than true policy disputes.

Taibbi says the first step in managing political conflict within a relationship is to recognise what the fight is really about. If a debate about an election turns into “you never listen to me” that’s a sign the problem lies in communication, not ideology. Instead of asking “how can you believe that” try “what experiences made you see things that way.” This kind of question replaces judgment with empathy and helps restore closeness.

He also suggests setting practical limits when tension runs high. Couples can agree on time limits, take cooling-off breaks, or even decide to skip political talk during elections.

Finally, Taibbi reminds couples that connection matters more than conversion. Trying to change a partner’s mind rarely works, but listening with respect often softens defensiveness. Shared laughter, acts of care, and everyday kindness rebuild the bond that heated debates can erode.