Are We Exhausting Our Kids?

Parents might think they’re giving their children every advantage, but one of the most common modern parenting habits may be quietly overwhelming young minds.

According to Dr Liz Nissim-Matheis, a licensed clinical psychologist specialising in child, adolescent, and family therapy, today’s children are operating in a state of near-constant motion and sensory bombardment. Dr Nissim-Matheis, who runs a private practice in New Jersey in the United States and is a long-time consultant to schools on learning, anxiety, and developmental challenges, warns that many young people: “are busier than we ever were at their age”.

She argues that overscheduling and overstimulation now form a single, mutually reinforcing problem. Children move from school to sport to tutoring to screen time without meaningful pauses.

In her words: “Kids today participate in more organised activities than ever before, not to mention the constant stream of digital notifications.” With their nervous systems continually activated, she says many children: “don’t learn how to slow down”.

Dr Nissim-Matheis emphasises that boredom is not an enemy but a crucial developmental tool. She explains that when children have quiet, unstructured time, their brains shift into a mode that supports imagination, problem-solving, and emotional regulation.

“Day-dreamingisn’t something to eliminate. It’s a powerful tool,” she notes. The absence of downtime, by contrast, creates short attention spans, irritability, mental fatigue, and an inability to manage simple routines.

Dr Nissim-Matheis is especially concerned about the impact on resilience. Contrary to the belief that constant activity builds strong, achievement-oriented children, she says resilience develops when young people encounter challenges – and are allowed to struggle without immediate parental intervention. If parents repeatedly step in to fix tasks, she warns the unintended message is: “You can’t do this,” which breeds long-term dependence rather than confidence.

Dr Nissim-Matheis provides several practical steps for parents who want to reverse the trend. She recommends scheduling protected blocks of unscheduled time, encouraging screen-free moments such as walks or solo play, and asking open-ended questions that prompt children to solve problems independently. She stresses that allowing children to perform tasks on their own – even slowly or imperfectly – is essential to their development.